peevesies:

i went down to the middle school today for relay for life and i saw my old social studies teacher i had a crush on (don’t talk to me) and he was like “hey how are you i haven’t seen you in ages?” and the first thing i blurted out was “I JUST TURNED 18” and jesus christ if that’s not the thirstiest thing i’ve said in my whole life

(via solikeumyeah)

(Source: faggotking, via solikeumyeah)

pumpkinlessidjit:

jadedgalvanizer:

timelordsatan:

ambular-d:

pumpkinlessidjit:

i want there to be an angel that descends from the heavens only when someone is being stupid

and the angel just gently places their hand over the person’s mouth

and whispers in a voice filled with heavenly beauty and love

“no”

ANABIEL

LOOK IT UP

IM SCREECHING LOOK LOOK AT THE ART LOOK HOW PRETTY IT IS OH MY GOSH <33333333333

(via awkward-disaster)

lizziemcjagger:

lizziemcjagger:

what is the most slippery country in the world

greece

(via projectfolloweveryone)

romulusthread:

MY MATH TEACHER SAW ME TEXTING AND MADE ME STAND IN FRONT OF THE ROOM AND HE TOLD ME TO READ THE TEXTS BUT I WOULNT SO HE TOOK MY PHONE AND READ THE LAST THREE ON THERE OUT LOUD AND THE FIRST ONE WAS “IM HUNGRY” AND MY FRIEND REPLIED WITH “HUNGRY FOR SEMEN” AND I SAID “TRUE THOUGH” IMGONNA JUMP OFF A BUILDING

(via projectfolloweveryone)

couturierer:

if i ever got sentenced to house arrest i’d just laugh at the judge

(Source: hunterandrewpence, via projectfolloweveryone)

transboyblues:

never introduce your friends to one another because they end up liking each other more than they ever liked you

(Source: kaylacat, via projectfolloweveryone)

readalot413:

liverpate:

azraeldoesnotdispute:

liverpate:

why am i not a banana

Because your genetic code dictates that you are human. However, it should please you to know that you share 50 - 60% of your DNA with a banana.

thanks man

are you telling me that some people are 10% more banana than other people

(via manycheeseburgers)

3ridan:

do you ever look around at the big crowds of people around you and realize everyone has a story and memories and family and troubles and achievements and a first kiss and a broken heart but you’ll never know any of it and every human life is really intricate and expansive but oh they’ve walked into a shop and you’ll never see them again and you’ll never know just what they were thinking 

(via awkward-disaster)

cowboybeboop:

viste:

cowboybeboop:

reblog if u were on tumblr before yahoo bought it 

IT’S LITERALLY BEEN LIKE A DAY AND WHAT ARE YOU EVEN TRYING TO ACHIEVE WITH THIS POST

only a true tumblrite would understand. you just outed yourself as a yahooligan

(via awkward-disaster)

When nobody talks to me, I just entertain myself.

bestlols:

Best entertainment ever!

(Source: amazinglisahowsweetthesound)

theneverendingdrums:

wimpala:

theneverendingdrums:

theneverendingdrums:

theneverendingdrums:

i want pizza but im broke what if i just walked into a shop and stole a 12 inch pizza and ran away do u think id get away with it

update: i got away with it

omg no dont reblog this post what if the police find me

hello yes police there’s someone on the internet who stole a pizza and got away with it

r u trying 2 get me put in jail u asshole

(Source: theladyserket, via awkward-disaster)

mylilsunshine:

icouldntfindanyotherusername:

fucking-tom-hiddleston:

k-lionheart:

continualsanitynotlikely:

If this gets 3 million notes I’ll make a dress out of these

And wear it to the nearest major city 

SIGNAL BOOST AND IF IT GETS TO FOUR MILLION YOU’VE GOT TO MAKE A TIARA THAT MATCHES.

YOU’RE GONNA REGRET PUTTING THIS ON TUMBLR

OMG I’VE NOT BEEN THIS EXCITED SINCE THE FLUFFY CHICKEN POST

i can already feel this happening

(via projectfolloweveryone)